How to recognize you are suffering from Foodie-Fatigue.
Turn on the tellie, flick through a mag or cock an ear to the radio and you’d be forgiven if you thought food identities had taken over the media.
Are you getting exhausted by the prolongation of patronizing pontificating from provision peddling personalities?
Recent maladies presenting at local GP’s include:
Ale-ergy-Alergies to non-hand crafted beers
Beri beri-consuming too many berries in summer
Chicken parmipox-consuming too many parmis
Clamidia-ingesting too many clams
Cookbookomania-the excessive compulsion to collect cookbooks
Type 2 Diabeeties-lifetsyle disease bought on by excessive canned beetroot consumption
Congeestive heart disease-too much congee
DFS: Degustation Fatigue Syndrome- falling asleep while trapped at the table for hours
Dehydration-the excessive use of ones food dehydrator
Erectile dysfunction-A male chef pre-occupation with building towers of food
Congenial herpes-acquired through too much work colleague fraternisation at the boozer after hours
Foragitis-a hypothermia related ailment for chefs constantly scrounging in laneways and creeks
Hip-atitis A-Affected hipsterism
Hip-atitis B-Bogan foodie trying to be hip
Hip-atitis C-Conceited hipsterism
HIV-Hipster infection virus-Occurs when one hipster arrives at a hipster free workplace, then one by one they all get infected.
Human en papilottevirus-the obsessive compulsive disorder of wrapping all ones food in parchment paper
Hyperthermomixosis-the inability to cook anything without talking about how you could do it in your Thermomix.
IBS: Irritable Baker Syndrome-Condition presenting when artisan bakers get overlooked to feature in one of Dan Lepards books
Intolerancezemia-being allergic to every single food item put in front of a person
Tweezopia-excessive use of tweezers by a chef
Montezumas revenge-Diahorrea caused by jumping on the Mexican food bandwagon
Potulism-poisoning from using the same unwashed cooking utensil
Paralytic Gastroenteritis-getting a tummy bug from a late night kebab after a bender
Q to z to follow