Fast Food giants battle with small cafe owner for market share

Breaking: Residents of Chlamydia Waters, an outer suburb of Melbourne are up in arms at a proposal put forward by a small owner-operator to open a new local bistro serving local and seasonal foods. The proprietor, Mr Clancy St Hubbins intends to take a lease on a building which is located on the intersection of Thrush St and Chlamydia Rd where several food outlets are already located.

A spokesperson for the fast food retailers association, Ms Elise Van Richten, said she was alarmed at Mt St Hubbins proposal.

‘It’s always a bit daunting when a private operator of this size moves into the area’. ‘I mean we’ve all worked hard to colonise this site and this guy just thinks he can waltz in and start trading, it’s really unfair’.

Two young employees of one of the chains were asked what they thought.

‘Well I like being paid in burgers but it might be a good change, who knows my acne might get better!’

But many residents are not happy.

Charlene Brandy-Bundy Chivas said that ‘three generations of her family work and eat at this corner and knowing that some fresh-food gimmicky restaurant was moving in makes her ‘sick to the stomach’ ‘What’s next?’ she said, ‘A friggin’ Farmers market?!

Mr St Hubbins said the residents and operators have nothing to fear. ‘I’m just a bloke trying to make a living, the people will decide if they like my product and this’ll determine if we’re a success or not’.

It’s this success that the other retailers are worried about. Last year in near bye Scumshine, a small organic vegetarian restaurant opened in a similar precinct. Months later, two new organic food businesses opened and locals say they have bitten hard into the turnover of the original food outlets causing one to cease trading. Plans are on the table for yet another fresh seasonal café with 60 seats and when that comes, local residents are even talking about selling up and moving, such is the concern.

Perhaps the last word should go to long time Chlamydia Waters resident Sheryl Beryl.

‘I’ve seen this area change over the years but nothing like this wave of fresh food places has ever happened before. Kids today, they want to know where every bloody bit of food comes from AND they want it fresh and made to order’ ‘I long for the old days where convenience ruled’.