Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Who is stealing the soap in Restaurant Loos?

The Federal minister for Tourism, Martin Ferguson has announced plans for a sweeping taskforce to get to the bottom of the problem plaguing many of these so-called ‘hipster’ restaurants.
‘Who is stealing all those high–end toiletries that make the dunnies look so god dammed posh?’ ‘I mean, when people like Oprah come here, they expect to be pampered, and we’ll never be taken seriously as a cultural destination if we just have a bar of bloody Lux on the basin!’

His sentiments are born out in the latest trend to sweep hospitality venues across the nation.
Walk into any rest-rooms at a restaurant or cafĂ© at the vanguard of design these days and you could be fooled into thinking you’ve stepped into Le Bouquetiere such are the lavish accoutrements de toilette on offer.
Creams, suds, elixirs, perfume, cologne, nail-care products, hair foams and scented Parisian linen are now de rigueur. Some establishments have taken it up to eleven by offering a full
body-spa, nail treatment and hair-styling right there in the lavatories!

Whilst this must be a boon for the patrons, it might be just too tempting for them as many of these toiletries are being stolen.

‘It’s gotten so bad now’ said a staff member from the new restaurant, 'G’day Modern' in Melbourne, ‘that they (the customers) just wait in the loos until we re-stock, then they’re gone!’

A spokesman for Aesopp concurred, ‘These restaurants want their clients to feel the touch of luxury so naturally they come to us, their punters steal our products and they get replaced-it’s a win-win for us’.

However another theory on the phenomenon is gaining traction.

Noted Hospitality Consultant, Tony 'El Dread' had this to say: ‘I reckon its struggling restaurateurs pinching the stuff and selling it on the black market to prop up their failing steakhouses/Mexican joints and Burger bars, oh and call me 1800-El-Dread’

Until then, we’ll await the findings of the Ministers report.

Clancy St Hubbins, of The Cygnet Herald and Farm Equipment Catalogue International,


Sunnybrae and all who sail in her said...

Hi Steve
Tony Knox used to talk about the waiters market where all the missing silver, linen, pens, ashtrays [remember them?],glasses sideboards and would go, they offered half price if you could prove they were yours.

steve said...

Howdy george-Thanks for reading. Funny I've heard of that market myself! I used to know some ne'er do wells that furnishd their whole kitchen with 'liberated' accoutrements from previous places of employ.