Sunday, January 29, 2012

Unsolicited email from a friend

Hello friend,
My name is Cecil St Hubbins. I am a 45 YO white male from a privileged background and I am seeking your donations and assistance to help me reach my goal.
When I reached my mid-forties, I felt that I’ve still got my joie de vivre and needed to find a way to demonstrate this, you know, to show that I have still my Mojo, however I don’t want to simply prove my physical prowess by doing a marathon, trek or a mountain climb. I will take the path less travelled and methodically work my way toward achieving my aspiration.
Initially, as a sort of training run, I intend to eat and drink in all the two to three hatted restaurants in Australia and stay in five-star accommodation along the way. I know it’s ambitious, a little bit whacky and has never been attempted before but I have got this urge to do something that really matters.
‘Cecil you are a NUT! And you are CRAZY to try this’ I hear you say and yes it’s been the story of my life, always challenging the status quo. Like when I was in Primary School, I lobbied our Council to sponsor my family and I on a fact-finding trip to Switzerland to study children’s playgrounds. Or the time in year ten when I received a grant to visit a string of top flight Tennis Acadamy's on America’s East Coast. These experiences forged a conviction in me, a principle that has burned intensely throughout my life and that belief was if I wanted something so badly, someone else would always have to pay for it.
So as you can imagine I’ll need lots of cash. These kinds of undertaking aren’t cheap and I know you have got to dig deep. I know you can do it though, I have faith so here’s some helpful ways to get you started to help you save for me:

Instead of getting those lamb chops for dinner try onions instead
Walk instead of buying petrol
Sell off useless old family jewellery
Take up sewing instead of purchasing new clothes
Cut down on unnecessary personal hygiene products
Trim the kids’ school lunches

You get the picture.
Look there’s no denying it’ll be tough but remember when you’re at a really low ebb, spare a thought for me, attempting my Herculean challenge and it’ll put everything you’ve sacrificed into perspective, You’ll be making one man very, very happy.
Thanks so much
Cecil
BSB 123-456
Acc No-789 456 123

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