Incredible first hand account from the perspective of a punter at London’s two Michelin starred restaurant ‘The Lead Balloon’
“We were onto the second meat course when we heard all this commotion outside, banging and shouting. The Maitre’d assured us everything was alright but anxiously swiped our credit cards anyway, even though we hadn’t finished our meal yet. All of a sudden there was a huge commotion and the front door literally exploded showering glass and debris everywhere. Straight after that, a posse of hooded and masked people stormed into the restaurant. My first thought were: I didn’t think people from the council estates could afford to dine here but then again they could be CHAVS? Pretty quickly bedlam ensued and we were being threatened by these hooligans to divest ourselves of any jewellery, cash and other personal items of worth. I was so excited I couldn’t contain myself! I mean, dining here has always been so predictable but this was something entirely different, this was exciting!
I eagerly got into the spirit of things and tossed my wristwatch into the bag outstretched before me. I then looked up to see the Maitre ‘d being king-hit from behind by a muscular yob in a Kappa t-shirt and hoodie, it all looked so realistic.
The noise was reaching fever pitch by now as many people in the process of being robbed were screaming and crying and the cacophony was punctuated by a few heavy blows to wobbly, over indulged flesh. It was exhilarating when one of the brave kitchen brigade went at one of the assailants with very heavy and no doubt expensive copper pan and the clang as it hit the cranium of the Yoik elicited a round of brief applause from some of us before he was set upon by the rabid mob.
What struck me though was the head chef, a former bad ass Ramsay acolyte known for his fisticuffs and hot temper, was curled up in a ball weeping and inconsolable! This was extraordinary! Bravo, what a show!
The melee ended all too abruptly in my opinion and we were left there, amongst the glass and rubble whilst the staff, whom provided very convincing job of looking like they were ‘in shock’ gathered themselves together.
I said to the wife as we left, bathed in the strobe like blue lights of the local plod car, we simply MUST do this again”