Since all of us who have a blog about food have been unceremoniously dumped into the bubbling pot that the New Larousse Gastronomique has deemed ‘Alimentaires blogueur à soupe’, I feel its time to dissect us into easy, bite-sized sub categories.
I SO wanted to give examples here but thought that might ruffle too many feathers ha ha!
Chefs or restaurateurs who blog
These exponents tend to use their blogs primarily as a medium to advertises their particular establishments, trouble is most people don’t get past the ‘And here’s where I work’ bit.
Amongst visiting copious eateries and critiquing them much of their focus is steered toward that holiest of holy grails-being the very first to review the latest hip place.
The ‘what I ate last night’ crowd
Totally pre-occupied with explaining in excruciating detail, the contents of their bowl of Weetbix and milk
This lot just post random stuff that we are meant to take as profound, they rarely, if ever engage with other bloggers as they’ve apparently said all there is to say on the subject
A kind of fan-boy blogger always trying to engage with their idols on line barely unable to conceal their sycophantic glee. Close cousin to a Cyber stalker actually.
My life is so dreamy and your isn’t
These bloggers are responsible for affluenza-like symptoms of envy in readers as they grow, harvest and cook in their desirable homes which resonate with overwhelming creativity and appreciation for the aesthetic life. A difficult life to emulate from one’s council flat.
The Literary wannabe
Probably the least read of the tribe. Pepper their posts with writerly posturings and clumsy literary references that any grade five kid could recognise.
The camera wielders
Like all, exhibitionists, they’ll jump at any opportunity to unzip their fly and flop out their ginormous, long and hard new lens at the table. Truth is they all hate food & restaurants and would prefer just to talk about their cameras
The cutesy, anime or girly-girl blog
Upon viewing theses blogs you are battered by a fully loaded saccharine assault on your senses with splashes of lolly pop colours, cuddly cartoon characters and baby doll fonts. Not sure what they are about as I’m too busy having a hyperglycaemic moment
The ‘I’ve got one foot in both camps’ blogger
The tern running with the foxes and hunting with the hounds was coined to describe these opportunistic fence-sitters. As we all know, one day you’ve got to nail your colours to the mast- need I go on with the metaphors?
The freebie grubber
This lot give our whole potage a bad rap simply because whenever a journo has a slow news day and intends to do a hate-job on bloggers, they invariably get trotted out, of course that’s once their snouts can be lured away from the trough.
Special interest groups
So fantastically niche specific, other than being a person that shares these specific tastes, chances are you’ll go to the grave not ever knowing about them. Their stat counters only go up to number ten.
The food allergy-malady
Mind numbingly hard reading with exhaustive research on why they suffer from excessive wind because of high fructose, gluten, msg, dust mites, pollen or whatever the latest public enemy number one additive is in food.
The back to earthers
This lot seem to be stuck in a fantasy-land construct of pre-industrial revolution agrarian nirvana in which time has apparently stood still. Totally determined to do things the hard way and conveniently ignoring the fact that they use technology to capture every soil-turning Kodak moment
Sustainable ethicurean locavores
Militant conscience prickers whom were perhaps school prefects in another life. Ready to pounce and tut-tut just as your fork reaches your lips with: “Is that Local. Once-happy-animal. organic, sustainable and ethical Spag-Bol you’re about to scoff?”
Can be exhausting reading and you leave never feeling good enough.
Anyway I’ve had fun and perhaps you could add a few of your own. Who said bloggers can’t have a laugh at our own expense? For the record, I ‘m in at least three of those categories-just getting in first!