Monday, June 20, 2011

My Dog wrote this

Well it seems the ruse is up. I have been formally outed or at least my cover has been blown. I can no longer claim credit or scorn for what appears on this blog.
You see our family dog Nelly has been writing this blog for years. I couldn’t believe how accurate this article was in the Weekend Australian magazine, if fact I thought it was if it was telling our story when I came across the passage: ‘my dog can write a blog’. Wow that makes at least two of us!
Now those fortunate enough to be acquainted with our Nelly will know this not to be true. It has to be said that many, many dogs cannot read or write yet alone be as erudite as our Nell. She is unique in so many ways but it’s in front of her keyboard where her talents really shine. She’s also very humble and wouldn’t approve of me letting the cat out of the bag-so to speak. However, last night after dinner, we took Brandy and cigars on the veranda and she turned to me pensively and said: ‘Steve, this article offended me. Not for my own feelings but for you, it’s insulting and it pains me that someone could be so..well so dismissive of the efforts and passions of others’ She was getting quite agitated now and moved to loosen her tie under the constraints of her dinner Tux.
‘To suggest that food bloggers will eat anything including packet stock cubes, to get a freebie or an invite to a product launch in order to validate themselves misses the point entirely imo.’
We both returned our gaze to the moonlit valley expanse before us to ruminate and she polished off her brandy with a gulp.
‘Now quick let’s get back inside, Dr Harrys on the tellie’


claire said...

Bwahahahahahaha love it Steve :)

thanh7580 said...

Can Nelly help with my posts too, as my pet bird Apple doesn't do quite as good a job. She tends to have a short attention span and will.....oooh bird seeds.

Lucy said...

Nelly might like to read this:

which makes me howl with laughter.

Ed Charles said...


steve said...

Hi Claire-i did chuckle myself typing this!

Hey Thanh-thanks for reading, Im sure that Apple could have a crack though...

Hi Lucy-I've passed on the link but she's quite infatuated at present with the letters to the editor responses to Quadrant

Hi Ed-watch it or I'll go all Penny Wong on your Ass MOFO!

Another Outspoken Female said...

Steve you are a genius.

(Loved the Boston Legal reference too )

Rolls Eyes said...

I always thought that Elizabeth Merryment was a measured and considered food journalist until I read this piece at the weekend.
She now joins the long list of anti-bloggers out there. I have noticed that she was complaining on twitter about the amount of bile she had recieved from bloggers as a result of her article.
What I fail to understand is that if bloggers are so inconsequential why the need to kick them down so frequently? As opportunistic as this article painted bloggers it also made its author sound decidely mean spirited imo and I'd always imagined she'd be one of the journos that would leave that kind of reportage to those eager to make a splash at someone else's expense.

Simon Leong said...

I wanna read the dog blog now :-)